Health & Fitness

5 Things My Mom Taught Me

Denise talks about her mom, Kathleen Lockwood, and offers up five lessons she learned from her mom.

When I think of my mom, Kathleen Lockwood, I think of her voice.

She always read books to my two sisters and me --Β  from Dr. Seuess to Little Women. And I'm not afraid to admit she probably read to us until we were in our early teens. We consumed words and their importance in our home became the fuel for our imaginations and our love of the story.

Having grown up in the 1970s, we were encouraged to find a life's work. The role of being a woman was changing then and my mother realized the importance of becoming a woman that didn't just see her role as a mother and wife. My father also subscribed to this notion, which meant that all of us would be required to learn how to change a tire before we were allowed to drive the car. And both of them opposed the idea of us marrying before we were 19.

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"Go out in the world, be someone" was the message in our home.

So I thought I would share what I heard while I was growing up in Ohio and a little bit about how I have used these words in my own life.

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1. If you aren't part of the solution, you are the problem.

I really work to understand problems and look at how I fit into the scheme of things. Because of this, I often over analyze things. But quite frankly this has been a useful tool for me both personally and professionally. And as I've grown older and I am now raising my own child, I'm coming to understand that often times I don't have control over my daughter's behavior. With that being said, I'm also finding that in some situations pointing out the natural consequences to her actions is often a more powerful and influential parenting technique (at least for teenagers).

2. Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to get to your prince.

My mom gave my sister a card that said this after a boy had broken up with her. But I've always taken this statement to mean something a little differently. I've always took this to mean that you should choose your relationships well, don't be afraid to walk away from a relationship that isn't healthy. And keep an open heart.

3. Eat your vegetables.

Ahh... one of the most common mom phrases and one I still struggle with. I think my mom struggled with this too, but it was still important for her to say. Now the phrase has a different context for the both of us since she has diabetes and has had her share of struggles with this. With that said, she still encourages me to take better care of myself and I'm starting to come around to her way of thinking.

4. Turn off the television and go find something constructive to do. Go play outside, read a book, solve the world's problems -- I don't care. Find something or I'll find some housework for you to do.

This is the pinnacle phrase that I think of, even with my own daughter. To me, this statement means -- lead a creative life, not a destructive life. And while entertainment might be appropriate at times, it requires balance.

5. I don't care if you are a garbage collector. But if you are one, be the best one you can be.

This one baffled me for years, but I guess I had to figure this one out the hard way. I've always wanted to be a writer, but have, at times, tried to rationalize the unimportance of writing because of the pay. And during the years I wasn't writing, I became an entirely different person and I came to this conclusion: if I truly want to make writing my life's work, then I needed to work to find a way to make it happen.

So, that's how my mom still parents me even though I'm (cough) 41 years old. My parents live in Ohio and we talk several times a week. When I'm not talking to her, I still hear her voice. Those values are permanently with me because they have influenced my purpose and direction. And for that, I must say... thanks mom!


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